Thursday, April 5, 2012

Greetings, and a Little Techmology

A brief funny from an actual Vonage Visual Voicemail. But first, a little about me.

I've had the pleasure of meeting Mrs. Polly, Kevin K, Marindenver, gil man, Tom65, and others from the Rumproast Board of Directors. They are as delightful in person as they are in the virtual world. Just wanted to assure you that you are in really good hands here. Well, Tom65 is a bit off, but really the rest of them are all right. :)

I haven't met Strange (except on the phone), Betty, or YAFB (though there's a rumor he's the real life model for Daffyd. Any truth to this?)

I have two claims to fame: 1.) For 4 years I ran the Lizard Lounge Comedy Hour in my beloved Cambridge, MA. When the dot com bust forced me to leave (see: Romney Administration, The) I relocated to Washington, DC. A month ago I relocated to Rockville, MD, which is a spoonerism for Mockville, Raryland. I currently cohabit with a German Shepard named Max. 2.) In DC I was the host of the DC Drinking Liberally where I got to know many of the parasites of the "creative class" that are currently oodles of fun to mock. Thanks, progressives!

My political views are fairly simple: I believe Belgium is the proper model for the social fabric of the US of A. I have not been winning that argument with the locals, however. My literary influences include Thoreau, Gandhi, Kipling, Kafka, and Plato. Orwell's Politics and the English Language is the basis for much of my approach to political rhetoric. I also have an unhealthy fascination with the charlatan-mystic Gurdjieff.

Also. Went to college with Ann Coulter. Life's weird, huh?

OK. Here's the funny from an actual Vonage Visual Voicemail. Vonage tries to use speach recognition on voicemail and sends you an email. The actual voicemail was about fire alarm bells going off in my building. Here's the transcription:

"Fart fart or on sales between 10:00AM and 2:00PM for today Thursday, April 5. Thank you"

No, thank you. See? You gotta love techmology. Respect.

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